


As sure as the stars above

by my_deer_friend, ThatWouldBee_Enough



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28324521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_deer_friend/pseuds/my_deer_friend, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWouldBee_Enough/pseuds/ThatWouldBee_Enough
Summary: Two boys meet - by chance - in a broken-down elevator on Christmas Eve.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 56
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

John dashes into the elevator, multiple gift bags in his hands, a little out of breath and a lot anxious. He pushes the close-door button frantically. Martha’s annoyed tone is already ringing in his ears at how late he is to her engagement party. But who in their right mind plans a Christmas Eve engagement?

Just as the door is about to close, somebody sticks a foot into the crack between the door and the wall. A guy his age - dark hair, intense eyes - steps inside, looking a little out of breath himself and shooting John a look. “I said, hold the door.”

John can practically feel the added seconds of delay stretching out before him. “Oh, shit, sorry,” he says, not really meaning it as he shuffles into the corner to make space. He stares up at the ceiling, willing the elevator to move.

The guy waves off the apology and jabs at the button for the floor he needs before leaning back against the wall. “It’s fine. Just in a hurry.”

“Same.” John looks at the numbered buttons, then at his full hands. “Oh, uh, can you hit eight for me?”

“No problem.” The guy presses the button and shuffles the gift bag he’s holding over to his other arm. “Busy night for parties.”

John furrows his brow a little. “I guess.” He doesn’t want to make conversation.

The message must get across, because his companion shoves his free hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone, then puts it away again and groans quietly.

They ride in silence for a few moments, John counting every floor with heated impatience--

\--when suddenly there’s a disconcerting metallic screech, and the elevator comes to a shuddering stop. The lights go out.

John’s heart leaps into his throat. “What the fuck?”

“Shit.” He hears the other guy lurch to the side and catch himself against the wall. 

John reaches out with one full hand and pushes a few buttons pointlessly. “No way, no way, you have _got_ to be kidding me.” Martha is going to _murder_ him.

“The fuck. Hello?” The other guy calls out. “Anyone there?”

“That’s not going to help.” John sighs and puts down his many bags, then takes out his phone and puts on the flashlight. “There’s usually a number you can call here somewhere…”

“Well _excuse_ me,” the guy mutters, turning on his own light to try and help. “It could have helped. Someone might hear.”

“Yeah, and do what?”

“Whatever. Did you find that number yet?” he snaps. 

John shines his light on the panel, where the emergency number has been graffitied over. Of course. “I hate this city.”

“Yelling for help doesn’t seem so dumb now, does it?”

John sighs very deeply and obviously, putting all of his awful mood into the sound. “Hang on, let me call my sister.” He puts the phone to his ear.

“Does your sister have a fucking axe to break down the door,” the guy says under his breath. 

“She probably does,” John mutters back, then says into the phone, “Martha? Yeah. Of course I’m in the elevator… _How_ long? Wonderful.” He hangs up. “Power’s out on the whole block. Might be another hour at least.”

“Shit. Can she like, call someone to get us out before then?”

“Apparently not. Something about old buildings. So - we’re stuck.” 

John looks down distastefully at the floor - sticky and grimy with slush - then resigns himself and slides down the wall to sit on it. The guy heaves a sigh and follows suit, hugging his knees to his chest. 

“This is bullshit.”

“Not how I planned to spend my night,” John mutters. “But,” he adds, “This might actually be marginally more pleasant.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” There’s a note of curiosity in the guy’s voice.

John sighs. “You really wanna hear my sob story?”

He looks around pointedly at their surroundings. “Looks like I’ve got nothing better to do for the next hour.”

“Ah. I guess. I’m John, by the way.”

“Alex.”

“Hey.” John sighs again. “My sister is throwing an engagement party tonight - a fucking Christmas engagement, how cheesy is that? - and the guy’s best man is my ex, as of about forty eight hours ago.” He thinks back to the massive blow-out with Frank - impossibly, just two days ago - that had been simmering under the surface for months. Despite the fun times they’d had, the relationship had gotten so ugly in the end that it was actually a relief when they’d mutually decided to call it off. John is annoyed and angry and a little sad, but he’d be lying if he said he was heartbroken about it.

The guy - Alex - snorts a laugh, then quickly tries to backtrack. “Sorry. Just… I thought I had it bad, getting stuck with the least interesting person in the office for my stupid secret santa gift,” he says, holding up the bag. “But you definitely win for shitty circumstances.”

“Thanks. The whole universe is laughing at me, so go right ahead.” John nods at the gift. “What did you get them?”

“Honestly?” Alex tries to peer in past the tissue paper. “I don’t even remember. That’s how fucking boring and generic it is.”

“A for effort,” John says sarcastically. 

“You get what you give, and she doesn’t give a lot of effort, I’ll tell you that much.” Alex rolls his eyes and leans more heavily back against the wall. “So, what _were_ you going to do? About the whole ex situation? You know, when you got up there.”

John grimaces a little, not entirely sure why he’s sharing these details with a perfect stranger. “Nobody knows yet. We were going to just go through the motions so we didn’t spoil the party - but knowing him, he’d probably start some drama anyway.”

Alex frowns thoughtfully. “You should just call her back and tell her now. Get it over with while you’re safe from the backlash.”

John lets out a surprised, genuine laugh. “That’s a genius move, actually. But, ah, I think it can wait for tomorrow. Especially if he’s there. Gotta control the narrative, you know?” He roots around in one of his bags. “So are you heading to a work party?”

“Well, I _was_. I planned on just stopping in for the mandatory amount of time people are supposed to make appearances at things like this, getting it over with, and heading out to something more fun with some of my friends after. At this point I’m not sure there’ll even be any appetizers left though.”

John pulls out the thing he was looking for - a big box of chocolates with “Martha and David” written on it, covered with christmassy flourishes. He opens it and holds it out. “It’s not canapes, but will this do?”

“Oh.” Alex stares down at the offering in surprise. “Yeah, thanks. You sure you don’t need to, uh, give that to them?”

John shrugs and smiles. “Desperate times. They’ll live.” 

Alex grins, plucking one of the chocolates from the box and popping it into his mouth. “Shit,” he says around the bite. “These are good.”

“They’d better be, at fifty bucks a box.”

Alex chokes a little, and coughs to clear his throat before speaking. “Fifty dollars? I feel like I shouldn’t be eating these. I feel like I shouldn’t even be looking at these. Are they filled with gold or something?”

John laughs a little uncomfortably, feeling a hot flush down his neck. Shit. He keeps forgetting that not everyone has the same frames of reference that he does. “Nah, just imported I think? Anyway…” He looks around awkwardly, fishing for a change of topic. “Uh. So, what do you do for work? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Sure,” Alex says, shrugging and taking another chocolate. “I do writing and editing for a political magazine. Nothing super well known or anything, but…” He shrugs again, sounding a little self-conscious. 

“Oh. Ah. Right.” John squirms uncomfortably. Of course, of all the people he’d get stuck with, it’s a good-looking guy who’s also the kind of journo who makes his dad’s life miserable. His immediate reaction is to put a wall up, to make sure nothing slips out that might identify him or dad, or lead to some unscripted scoop - _Senator’s son tells all in broken elevator_. But he’s good enough at managing his tongue, and at least this is a topic he can talk about. Alex sounds like he could use a little encouragement. “Hey, I might have heard of it?”

Alex gives him a skeptical look. “You read a lot of boring shit about politics in your spare time?”

“Not by choice!” John says immediately, defensively, then realises he’s put his foot in. “But, ah, I’m sure what _you_ write isn’t boring or anything….” He flails for a way to cover up his tone.

Alex huffs a laugh and leans his head back. “Thanks, but, yeah. It kind of is. You need to be really important to get the good stuff. I’m getting there, don’t get me wrong, but for now it’s the day-to-day boring shit that no one cares about.”

“Let me guess - you spend a lot of your day watching C-span?”

“Among other things, yes. And I have news alerts for way too many publications on my phone too,” he adds, waving it up in the dimly-lit elevator to show the long list of notifications scrolling down the screen. “Got to stay ahead of it all.”

“You have a stronger stomach than I do, in that case,” John says with a little laugh. “But you know what? I think more people should be paying more attention to the day-to-day stuff. That’s where they sneak the really bad stuff through.” At least, that’s how he knows the people around his dad operate. Municipal by-laws don’t get anywhere near the attention of state legislation, but end up affecting the lives of people much more directly.

Alex grins, resting his arms on top of his knees and leaning his chin forward onto them. “You’re right, but I also get the feeling that you’re just trying to flatter me by making my job sound more interesting than it is.”

John goes a little pink at how easily Alex has read him, but it’s dark and he hopes Alex won’t spot it. He doubles down. “Ah, well… It’s important work, that’s all. I really do mean that.”

“Mhmm.” Alex sounds like he’s trying to swallow his laugh, and the teasing lilt is oddly endearing. “So, what do _you_ do then?”

“Um.” John shrugs. It’s a good question, and he really wishes he knew the answer “Currently, taking a year off from law school to figure out if it’s what I really want to be doing.” He shakes his head, thinking back to how angry dad was, but how even that was not enough for John to force himself to keep going.

“Okay, sure. But like, what are you _doing_ during that year off?” 

“Oh.” John tries to remember - it’s been a blur of frustration. “Spent a few months in Europe just travelling around. Helped my dad with some--” Careful, now. “Uh, some of his work. Just… I guess just hopping around. Sorry, it’s not very exciting.”

Alex is silent for just a moment too long for the pause to be entirely comfortable. “Sounds… fun.”

“Yeah, I guess.” John frowns a little and looks down at his crossed legs. There isn’t an awful lot about his last year that he’d describe like that. “A lot of it was dealing with Frank - that’s my ex - and family stuff. I think I’m more worn out than if I’d just kept up with school.”

Alex reaches between them to grab another one of the stupidly expensive chocolates, and his hand brushes up against John’s leg a little bit. “Sounds real hard. Don’t know how you manage.”

John jumps a little at the contact. Relax, he tells himself. It was just an accident. And it’s not like Frank has any cause to get jealous anymore. 

It takes him a second longer to realise that what Alex said had an undercurrent of sarcasm. “Okay, yeah, I can see you rolling your eyes even in the dark.” He takes out his phone in a pointed move to change the topic. “Fuck. It’s just been fifteen minutes.”

Alex smirks. “I was actually flipping you off,” he jokes. “But, seriously? Only fifteen minutes? Do you think it’s gonna be the whole hour or…?”

“Charming,” John huffs. Looks like he’s not the only one wishing he could get out of this embarrassing situation. Then he realises he has a way to make things much better. “Hold up your flashlight quickly?”

“Why?”

The instant suspicious response makes John snort. “I wanna find something.”

Alex rolls his eyes at the non-answer, but flips the light on regardless, holding it up.

John smirks and starts digging around in his bags, full of fancy but shallow gifts for his sister and future brother-in-law. After a moment he produces a bottle of champagne, also labelled with the couple’s names. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve reached _that_ point of the evening.”

“Oh, _hell_ _yes_.” 

John grins at Alex’s enthusiasm, pulls off the foil and pops the cork. “It’s not cold, but…” He looks around. “Ah, shit. And no glasses. Do you mind?” He mimes drinking from the bottle.

“Nah, of course not. It all tastes the same no matter where it’s coming from.”

“Ha.” John takes a quick sip and sputters a little at the fizz. He passes the bottle across. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Alex agrees, grabbing the bottle and taking a slightly longer drink from it. “So, if the chocolates were fifty dollars, was this like five hundred?”

“Oh, I think it--” John starts, then cuts off. “You know what, fuck off,” he says with a laugh. But it’s oddly refreshing for someone to be making fun of all this overpriced stuff; in the world he inhabits, people take the status that comes with price tags much more seriously. “Just enjoy it.”

Alex grins at him and takes another sip before passing it back. “Hey, I’m not _complaining_ or anything.” 

Alex unfolds his legs and stretches them out across the floor - close, but not quite touching John’s. John glances down at it hesitantly, then decides - fuck it. He’s not in a relationship anymore. There’s no harm in a bit of silly flirting.

“You shouldn’t,” he jokes. “This is far too good for a first date.”

Alex cocks an eyebrow. “Oh? Am I your rebound now?”

John laughs. “Well, considering this conversation is already more pleasant than just about any one I had with Frank in the last six months…” He shakes his head. Idiot. Stop talking about your ex! “Sorry, this is dumb. Are you, ah, seeing anyone?”

The question seems to take Alex by surprise, and it’s like he can’t figure out what to say for a moment. “Uh.” He looks down at his lap, and he ducks his head to as though he’s trying to hide his face. “Not at the moment.”

John picks up that Alex is acting a little off, then realises how incredibly badly he phrased his question. Like it was some sort of crude come-on. “Oh, sorry, sorry!” he groans, “I was just making conversation. I didn’t mean…” He cringes.

“Oh.” Alex’s voice comes out a little flat, not quite relieved. “Yeah. Of course.”

John’s off balance now, which means, of course, that he starts rambling. “I mean, ha, you shouldn’t date _me_ anyway,” he says with an awkward laugh. “Not that I’m saying you’d _want_ to, of course. I’m a huge mess - really - and I don’t even know what to do with myself and - uh.” His brain finally catches up with him. “Ah. Please, god, change the topic?”

Alex tilts his head, like he’s considering obliging him, but then seems to change his mind. “I mean, I could do worse than an attractive law student with enough money to go backpacking around Europe,” he blurts out. 

The words hang in the air between them. 

Attractive? Fuck! John buries his face in his hands and groans softly. He grabs for the champagne and swigs it. 

“Give me that,” Alex says a little roughly, grabbing the bottle from him and desperately taking another drink. 

John laughs self-deprecatingly. “You could definitely do better than me, though.” He reaches to take the bottle back, and their fingers brush for a second.

Shit. That touch didn’t feel entirely accidental. 

Alex breathes a quiet laugh. “I think my exes would disagree with you.”

“Oh yeah?” John teases, feeling a little like he’s running headlong down a steep slope with no way to stop himself. Before he can change his mind, he says, “In that case then, maybe _I_ can do better than some cute guy who can’t even put five minutes of thought into a gift for a colleague at his lowbrow political gossip rag.”

“Look, if I could have gotten away with getting her nothing I would have.” Alex bites his lip, his eyes darting to the side and a slow smile curling his lips. “You don’t understand, you don’t _know her_. Five minutes of thought was too damn much. But I mean, it’s not like you’re much better, Mr. I-need-to-go-and-find-myself.” 

Alex grabs the bottle back, letting his fingers linger a little longer this time. _That_ touch, John realises, definitely was on purpose. His automatic instinct is to pull away, but then he reminds himself that he’s done with Frank. And - he’s enjoying this. Bantering with Alex, glimpsing the little flush he’s trying to hide, indulging in something carefree in the absolute, paradoxical safety of a broken-down elevator… He raises his eyebrows, but he doesn’t pull his hand away this time. 

He’s badly out of practice with this kind of thing, but Alex seems a little off-balance too, so that gives him a confidence boost. Or maybe it’s just the alcohol. 

“Oh yeah?” John grins. “And whose obscenely expensive champagne are you drinking? It took me _at least_ five minutes to order it online.”

“Now you’re arguing that you’re _too_ good for me? I can understand why you’re questioning whether law school is the right choice,” Alex teases with a laugh. “You really need to figure out what point you’re arguing and stick to it.”

John groans. “Now you sound like my dad. Trust me, that’s not a good look.” He grabs a chocolate out of the box. “Anyway, flip-flopping is perfectly fine in the legal world.”

“I think talking about your daddy issues is definitely second-date material,” Alex says, swinging his feet back and forth a little bit as he starts feeling the restlessness set in. “Maybe even third.”

John goes bright red and leans his head back, staring up despondently. _That_ change of topic has just dumped ice-cold water on his head. “Can we just cut the elevator line? I’d like to die of shame right now if that’s fine with you.”

Alex seems to realise he’s taken a wrong turn. The teasing tone returns. “But then how will I find out what a second date gets me?” he asks, staring up at the ceiling. “After all, if the first gets me champagne and chocolates and riveting conversation, it might be worth my while.”

John swallows. That didn’t sound entirely like a joke. “Well, flight to the Bahamas only if you make it all the way through five,” he jokes at his own expense. “Second date? Hmm. Book out a floor of the Empire State Building?”

Alex doesn’t miss a beat. “Which floor?”

“Oh, like really high up. You wouldn’t know it. Only rich people are allowed there.” God, dad would kill him for saying something like that.

“Rude. I never said I _wasn’t_ rich.” He takes another swig of the champagne.

“True, true…” John shoots him a look. The sudden whisper of defensiveness in Alex’s voice makes him reconsider if the joke he’s been making is really that funny. “Uh, sorry. I’m being obnoxious.”

“Not at all,” Alex says, then inches his leg a little further to the side until his foot is just barely resting against John’s leg - light enough to be deniable, but clear enough that it seems like he’s opening a door for John to step through. “I’m just joking too. Except about expecting to eat caviar on the top floor of the Empire State Building on our second date, of course.”

John chuckles. “Have you ever had caviar?”

“Nope. Why?”

“It’s disgusting.”

Alex laughs, leaning forward a little bit. His leg nudges a little more firmly against John’s. “Yeah?”

“Ironically, the more expensive it is, the worse it tastes.” John subtly shifts his leg closer, too. “Okay, but what would _you_ plan for this hypothetical second date? Since, to be fair, I did cater the first one.”

“Nah, pretty sure Martha and David did,” Alex points out, motioning towards the labels with their names on them in fancy script.

“Indulge me,” John smiles.

“On this hypothetical second date, am I paying?”

“Let’s say yes.”

“Hmmm.” Alex purses his lips. “Something simple. Picnic and drinks on the beach as the sun sets. Bonfire after dark to keep warm.”

“Huh. That actually sounds pretty nice.”

“Yeah, you learn to make do when you can’t afford the royal suite at the Empire State Building,” he says with a smirk. 

“Okay, okay,” John says in a mock-annoyed tone. “Point made. I can be thoughtful too, though.”

“Prove it,” Alex says, tapping the side of his foot lightly against John’s leg. 

“Hmm.” John glances down quickly at the foot nudging against him, but smiles and looks away. He has no intention of asking Alex to stop. “What’s your favourite colour?”

Alex raises an eyebrow, ready for something corny, but answers. “Green.”

“Okay. So, I’m a pretty good cook. I’d invite you for dinner - nothing fancy, I’m thinking lasagne - and as a gift I’d paint you some flowers in, let’s say, a dark forest green.”

“You paint?” he asks, both brows shooting up now.

“Yup.”

“Alright, that’s pretty good. But if we’ve already covered the daddy issues then _what_ are we going to talk about on this second date?”

“Well,” John insists, hoping Alex will divulge a little more. “Maybe you could tell me a bit about yourself.”

“Nah, I’ll save that for the trip to the Bahamas. Don’t want to scare you off before that.”

“Right,” John laughs. “I should have kept that one a secret.” Then he smiles more softly; Alex seems pretty great - cute and funny and bitingly smart. And there’s no way he’s anywhere near as toxic as Frank got near the end. “If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll have figured out I’m pretty hard to scare, given what I’m working with here.”

“Maybe.” Alex shrugs, sounding a little uncomfortable now. “Still. I’ll save that stuff for the fifth date just to be sure. You already know about my job and my disdain for certain coworkers, after all. Isn’t that enough?”

“Oh, ah, right. Yeah.” John laughs uncomfortably too. “No, come to think of it, let’s save the daddy issues till after date five too.”

“They that bad?” Alex asks, a little more serious now. 

John laughs, trying to imagine how a progressive young New York journalist would react to the revelation that his dad is a southern republican senator. He knows well enough how people like that are seen here. “In your _very_ specific case, they might be disqualifying.” Then, of course, there’s all the _other_ stuff with his dad. “Let’s just say, I’d need a few solid dates to reel you in so that you’d have to think twice about dumping me on the spot.”

“Shit,” Alex says with a little laugh. “Doubt they could be _that_ bad, but now I’m worried.” He grabs for the champagne again, and he takes another sip.

“I might be making it sound more dramatic than it is, but let’s just say that there’s a decent chance you’ve written about him and leave it at that. Quit hogging that, hand it here,” John says, waving at the bottle.

Alex laughs and passes it back. “You can’t say that and then _not_ tell me who he is. Come on, spill.”

“Nah, I’m having far too much of a good time to risk _that_ stony silence.”

“You just want to up the intrigue so I have to keep coming back,” Alex teases, nudging at John’s leg again. 

“Oh yeah?” John murmurs, suddenly feeling bold and impulsive. “And is it working?” He reaches out a tentative hand and puts it on Alex’s shin.

Alex glances away and swallows hard. “Maybe,” he murmurs.

John bites his lip. Shit - it’s been so long since he’s connected with someone like this. “Good.” He takes a drink from the bottle. “We’d have to flip a coin.”

Alex blinks, slightly confused. “Flip a coin for what?”

“To figure out whose second date we do,” John says, trying to sound casual.

“Ah,” Alex says with a laugh. “We'll just have to do both. Breakfast on the top of the Empire State Building and dinner and drinks on the beach. Oh wait, you changed your second date, didn’t you? Brunch on the beach then, and lasagna for dinner.”

“Sounds like we’re going to have to spend some time working through all of that. Hypothetically, of course,” John adds, and strokes his thumb along the side of Alex’s calf gently.

Alex smiles instantly. “Wait, I’ve got it. Breakfast on the beach with mimosas to watch the sunrise, _lunch_ on the Empire State Building, then dinner while you shower me with homemade presents.”

“Sounds perfect. You’re a smart guy, Alex.”

“I’ve been told.” He scooches marginally closer across the floor.

John bites his lip and trails his fingers a little higher, to the curve of Alex’s knee. “Humble, too,” he murmurs.

“Hey,” Alex says with a little laugh, though John can feel a little tremble in his leg. “Confidence is sexy.”

John grins and shoots him a meaningful look across the dark space between them. “Not arguing with that.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Alex asks in a mock-conspiratorial tone.

“Of course.”

Alex’s voice drops to a coy murmur. “I’m kind of hoping the power stays out for a few more hours. This is definitely better than my office party.”

“Oh,” John says, equally pleased and embarrassed, then jokes, “Want me to call the mayor? Ask him to delay the repair?”

“Absolutely I do. Wield your powers for my benefit, please,” Alex says, shifting another inch closer with a coy smile. Their legs are pressed firmly together now. “Keep this whole city in the dark. Romantic.”

“Damn,” John flushes and looks down. “I really, really wish I hadn’t been joking there.”

Alex bites down on his lip and then grins. “Shame. We’ll just have to make do with the time we’ve got.”

John squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. Shit. There’s no doubt Alex is interested. So - is he really going to do this? Does he have any reason to stop himself? Maybe - for once - John should just do exactly what he wants and stop worrying about what everyone else will say.

“It’s - ah… Sorry,” he murmurs, glancing up intently. “I’m a little rusty. Am I supposed to ask permission first?”

“Permission to…?” Alex asks, raising one eyebrow in question as he stares across the elevator. 

John takes a deep, steadying breath, then shifts forward and closes the space between them so that they’re just inches apart. His cheeks are burning red, but - yes - this feels _completely_ right. 

“To… to kiss you.”

Alex lets out a soft, delighted laugh - and then he’s the one who leans forward and closes the rest of the distance. He presses his lips up against John’s, gentle and warm, and brings one hand up to steady himself on John’s shoulder.

John makes a surprised little ‘oh’ sound into the kiss. The hand that is still on Alex’s knee squeezes tighter, and he brings his other hand up to the side of Alex’s face, asking wordlessly.

Alex breathes another pleased noise at the contact and leans into John’s hand as he parts his lips. John’s mouth curves up into a smile as he reciprocates, sliding his hand a little further around into Alex’s hair.

The elevator car suddenly feels too small, too warm, but John doesn’t care. Alex nudges his tongue against John’s barely parted lips, seemingly too eager now that they’re finally here to take things slow. 

So John hums and parts his lips a little more, tasting champagne and chocolate and what must be Alex underneath it. His hand slips higher along Alex’s thigh, almost of its own volition. There’s a scalding heat kindling in the base of his stomach that hasn’t been there for… for a long while.

Alex hums a soft note into the kiss as John’s hand drifts around and brushes at his inner thigh, and he brings his own hand to John’s lower back, fingers skirting under the material of his shirt and brushing against his skin.

John breathes a low groan-- 

\--a moment before the elevator springs back to life with a deafening clang and a blinding flash.

Alex jerks back from the kiss, startled by the sudden movement. John jumps back as well, eyes wide and chest heaving. The lights feel too bright after so long sitting in the dark. He blinks a few times, trying to adjust, his cheeks hot from the champagne and intimate contact.

“Fuck…” he groans.

“Shame you didn’t call the mayor,” Alex jokes, trying to ease their momentary panic.

John laughs, half giddy. “Well, shit.” He looks at the gift bags strewn around them, just as the elevator dings and reaches his floor. 

Alex puts a hand on his forearm, looking at him intently. “The night’s already kind of a wash, and we ate half your gifts. You sure you need to go to your sister’s engagement party?” he asks, biting down on his lip.

John cringes and rubs the back of his neck. The incongruity between the little fantasy they shared in the dark and the sudden, blinding return to reality brings him crashing down. “God, sorry, I really wish I didn’t have to - but Martha knows I’m here, and I really shouldn’t miss it. But, let me give you my number?” He reaches out a hand for Alex’s phone.

Alex shoots him a relieved smile and unlocks his screen, passing the phone over. “You sure you don’t want me to go with you? Really shock them all with the news of your breakup by having you show up with a new man?”

John laughs in a slightly manic way, and he isn’t paying attention when he types his full name into the contact field, followed by his number. “Fun as that sounds… I owe my sister one night of peace.”

“Damn,” Alex says, accepting the phone back without really looking at it, his eyes fixed on John. “Worth a shot.”

“I’m-- I really am sorry. I can’t believe you… We…” He starts to gather up the bags. 

“I’ll be in touch,” Alex tells John with a reassuring smile, his voice dropping to a flirtatious purr. “Hang in there tonight, and if you can find any way to jerk around that douchebag ex of yours at the party, do it for me?” he asks with wide, pleading eyes. 

John bursts out laughing. “I promise - and I promise to tell you all about it on our marathon second date.” He winks. “Hope the gift goes down okay.”

Alex groans. “God I hope I missed the stupid secret santa thing. I just want food and a few drinks and a little bit of face time with the boss before I cut out. If you’re not too busy after the engagement party…?” he prompts. 

John goes red again. “Ah… I suspect I’m not going to get away, especially since it’s Christmas tomorrow. But,” he reaches out and takes Alex’s hand. “Soon, okay? Really soon.”

Alex feels his cheeks heat again and a smile melts onto his face. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Then John suddenly realised his mistake - typing in his full name into Alex’s phone. It’s going to take Alex all of three seconds to realise who he is now and - shit - John can feel the likelihood of that return call suddenly diminish. But it’s not like he can snatch Alex’s phone back now. 

“You’re the one who needs to call me,” John insists with a smile. “Please do.” He squeezes Alex’s hand for a second before saying, “I really have to run. But I’m glad I broke down in the elevator with you.”

Alex nods, and holds onto John’s hand just a second longer before he lets his own fall to his side instead. “Best mechanical failure I’ve ever experienced, for sure.”

John grins. “Same. Okay - well, I’ll see you?” He half turns down the corridor.

“Yeah,” Alex promises as the door starts to slide shut. “I’ll call.”

“You’d better!” John calls, just a hint of desperation evident in his voice as the door shuts between them.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey? Can you hear me now?” John asks, then mutters, “I hate hotel wifi.”

“Yeah, you’re good,” Alex responds, pacing back and forth restlessly in their bedroom at home. John has been gone for a week now, off in Europe for a friend’s wedding, and just the sound of his voice makes Alex’s chest clench tight with longing. _Fuck Alex_ , he thinks to himself, _it’s only been a week. Get a hold of yourself._

“Ah, much better. Hello, darling! How have you been?”

“Fine,” he says with half a shrug that John can’t see. “Busy with shit at work, the usual. But that’s boring– tell me about your trip! How is it there? Did you see all your friends yet?” He tries to put as much enthusiasm as he can into his words, not wanting to spoil the whole thing for John by letting on just how much his absence is affecting his mood. 

“Eh, it’s Geneva, so overpriced and cold. Not everyone is here yet, and mostly we’ve been helping sort out last-minute wedding chores. Seriously, don’t _ever_ agree to being in a wedding party.”

Alex breathes a quiet laugh, shaking his head to himself. “Do you know how spoiled you sound right now? _Eh, it’s Geneva,_ ” he teases in a bad imitation of his boyfriend. He’s grown used to just how privileged John’s upbringing was compared to his own, but he can’t help but rib him for it from time to time. “I’m just over here at home slaving away at all of these dumb last-minute projects, and you’re off in Switzerland complaining.”

“Oh, I haven’t even _started_ on the state of the ski slopes,” John jokes. “But seriously, whose fault is it exactly that you’re not here with me?”

“My boss,” Alex counters, a little clipped. It’s not as if he _wants_ to be working such long days right before the holiday, but end-of-year reviews are right around the corner.

“Right…” John doesn’t get it - but then, he’s never had to worry about promotions. 

Alex stares over at the empty bed, heaving a frustrated sigh. “Look, if I could be there I would. It’s busy this time of year...”

John sighs as well. “I miss you.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, feeling the rush of emotion that’s been simmering for seven straight days hit him suddenly. He’s been keeping busy, distracting himself with work and friends and trying to ignore the fact that Christmas is in a couple of days and John won’t be here. He squeezes his eyes shut, focusing on the quiet of John’s breathing between his own words. “I miss you too.”

“All of this would be a lot more fun if I was showing you around,” John says gently, as if he can sense the shift in mood from thousands of miles away. “Are you absolutely sure there’s no way you can still get on a plane?”

“I wish,” Alex huffs, trying to lighten his tone. “I really just can’t take the time off this year. Maybe you can bring me some other time. When things are less busy.”

“Just say the word. But If I was going to take you somewhere, it would be much more exciting than Geneva. Really. That’s not the part that you’re missing out on.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex challenges, feeling a smile tugging at the corner of his lips and grateful for the shift in topic. “Like where?”

“Hmm. You’d love London, but I don’t think I could inflict you on the British.”

Alex snorts, imagining the self satisfied smirk on John’s face at the jab. “Rude. I’m a _delight_.”

“In… uh, certain definitions of the word…” He laughs at the little affronted noise Alex makes. “Paris is a cliche but it’s a lot more romantic.”

Alex hums in agreement. “Good food too from what I hear. I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to that,” he admits. It’s a nice thought– walking hand in hand, taking in the sights– and he thinks he could stomach the absurd price tag that would come with the trip knowing how excited John would be to show him around. “I’m guessing you’ve been?”

“Oh, just the occasional weekend. For food you want Italy. Or Basque.”

“Wait a second. Backtrack. How many times is _just the occasional weekend_?” Alex asks with an incredulous– only slightly uncomfortable– laugh.

John sounds flustered on the other end of the line. “Uh. I guess I lost track? But it’s not like I _lived_ there!” he adds defensively.

“Did the whole family hop on the private jet or…?” Alex teases, unable to help the grin spreading on his face at John’s embarrassment. 

“Oh, no, actually BA does a great first-class-- Wait,” he interjects his own train of thought, catching on. “Are you making fun of me?”

Alex lets himself fall back onto the bed, sprawled on top of their comforter. “John, I would _never_.”

“Asshole,” he laughs. “So, have I missed anything exciting back home?”

“Nah, not really,” Alex responds, considering the non-work related aspects of his week for a moment. “Herc got in a bar fight over the weekend when I was out with the whole gang. That’s pretty much it.”

“Oh shit, was the other guy okay?”

Alex laughs, thinking back to their night out, the look on the other guy’s face when Herc shoved him away from the girls with a few pointed words. “He was more or less fine. Just some asshole hitting on Eliza who couldn’t take no for an answer. He got a few swings in, but it really wasn’t _that_ bad. Like, don’t worry, they’re still gonna let us back into our favorite bar.”

John snorts. “Well, in that case I’m sorry I missed it. And, uh…” He hesitates for a second before his tone turns more gentle. “Have you decided what you’re doing for the holidays?”

Alex glares up at a tiny imperfection in the paint on the ceiling as his tone dulls with the change in topic. He had figured this question was coming, but it still doesn’t make it any more comfortable. Unlike him, John is used to big family gatherings at Christmas, and Alex knows he isn’t thrilled to be leaving him behind while he’s gone for the holiday. “Um, I’ll probably just spend it at home. Everyone’s got their own thing going on… I figure I’ll just order takeout or something.”

John sighs. “I’m not kidding, any time you wanna hop on that plane…” He pauses. “Martha’s in the city, I could call her and see what they’re doing…?”

“John, it’s _fine_. Really. I’m used to spending the holidays alone. I don’t need you calling on your little sister to take me in for Christmas. I’m not _that_ pathetic.” Though he can’t really blame John for his concern, and he knows his insistence that the whole situation isn’t pathetic is somewhat of a lie considering he’ll be surrounded by takeout containers in his apartment while all his friends are home with their families, opening gifts and spending time with loved ones. 

“No, Alex, it’s not… Sorry. Guess I just feel bad, the timing of this wedding is shit.”

Alex lets out a short breath, frustrated with the direction this conversation is taking. He doesn’t _want_ John to be concerned over something as trivial as his holiday plans. “Look, I’m serious. It’s fine. You don’t need to make a big deal out of it. It’s just a day, alright? We can celebrate together when you’re home.”

“Okay, deal. Which reminds me, I got you the best gift.”

“Oh yeah? It better not be stupidly expensive,” Alex tells him, smiling in spite of himself. “We had a deal, remember? We set a price limit.” 

“Oh, it was dirt cheap, don’t you worry.”

“Shit, _dirt cheap_ , huh? Well now I just don’t feel cherished,” he jokes, taking on an affronted tone.

He can practically hear John grinning on the other end of the line. “I think you’ll change your mind when you see it.”

“Yeah, okay. When are you getting back again?” Alex blurts out, needing to know how many more days he’s going to be on his own. Hearing John excited over his gift isn’t doing anything to help with how much he misses him.“Sorry, I keep meaning to put the date in my calendar but then…” He fumbles for a moment, knowing he has no real excuse. “Well, I haven’t yet.” 

“You know you’re weirdly disorganized for someone who’s so busy, right?” John laughs. “Theoretically, I should be back on the 30th. But with snow and storms and all that, you never know.”

Alex flushes. “I have to keep track of a _lot_. Some things are bound to slip through the cracks.” He pulls one of the pillows to his chest, burying his face in it and smiling as the scent of John’s shampoo overtakes him. “You better be back for New Year’s though. I need my midnight kiss.”

“Nothing except international travel restrictions will keep me away!” John laughs - then sighs, low and long. “I never realized just how much people talk about love around weddings.”

“Mmm, I bet.” Alex squeezes his eyes shut, really considering for a split second just telling his boss to fuck off and getting on a plane. But he knows that’s unreasonable. He definitely shouldn’t– but god he wants to. “Fuck, I miss you.”

“I thought you were too busy for silly things like that,” John teases gently.

“Nah. Never too busy to miss you.”

“Longest two weeks of my life.”

“So,” Alex says, needing to change the topic before he gets too sentimental and his resolve crumbles. “Where do you know these people from again?”

“I did a semester abroad in my sophomore year. Dad figured it would make me more worldly or something.”

“Hmm. Of course. _Dad._ ”

John sighs, already weary from how many times they’ve had this conversation. “Yes. Look - you can love me without liking him, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt for you to try?”

“I _am_ trying,” Alex protests. “I still decided to call you, after finding out who he was.”

“Yes - like a week and a bit later, by which point I thought I’d blown it.”

“And I was perfectly behaved at Thanksgiving.”

There’s a pause. “Just because you didn’t get into any arguments--”

“So, semester abroad?” Alex interrupts. They’ve been over this one enough, and he doesn’t have the stomach to rehash it again. Especially not with John so far away. The last thing they need is an argument right now. 

John picks up the story with a note of gratitude in his voice. “Mostly it was just an excuse to drink, since I was finally in a place where I was over the age limit. We hung out with a bunch of the Swiss kids, and I guess we just stayed in touch afterwards.”

Alex hums in recognition. “Ah, yeah. I remember you telling me something about that. Surprised you even remember them after all the partying.”

“Yes, well, I could hold my liquor a bit better back then. I can, however, confirm that my French has gone to shit.”

“Quel dommage,” Alex teases. 

“Oh, don’t you start. Frank gave me enough shit for it already!”

He cringes, not exactly wanting to think about John’s ex being with him while he’s all the way across the ocean either. “Yeah, well,” he fumbles ineloquently, not knowing how to respond. 

“Well - what? Alex?”

“Nothing,” he sighs. “It’s nothing. Just miss you.”

“Yeah, you said,” John says with a little questioning inflection. “You okay?”

“Well, it’s still true,” Alex says, ignoring the question tacked onto the end, not wanting to lie but not wanting to answer honestly either. “You sure you care enough about these people to stay for the wedding?” he asks with a laugh, trying to cover for the slight moment of awkwardness. 

“They’re my friends, Alex.”

“I know, I know. I’m kidding. Just– fuck. Who plans a wedding right around Christmas?”

John laughs, though it’s a little forced. “It’s the stupidest thing! Everywhere is crowded, half the shops are closed for the holiday, it’s a huge pain to travel. And anyway, like I’ve said, the whole Christmas proposal thing is just a ridiculous cliche.”

“Mmmm, I don’t know. I actually think it’s kind of cute. The proposal thing I mean,” Alex adds. “It’s definitely a romantic time of year, even if it _is_ a little cheesy.” He shrugs to himself, wishing for nothing more right now than to experience all of the cliche holiday traditions with his boyfriend, no matter how ridiculous or overdone they might be. It’s much better than the alternative, as he is acutely aware.

John’s quiet for a moment, all the way on the other side of the Atlantic. “I hate this.”

Alex chews at his lip, trying not to give away just how much he really wants him back home. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Last Christmas was such a fiasco, and now this… Can we make a deal that we’ll just spend it together next year?”

Alex smiles, though it’s a little sad. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Honestly,” John says quietly, “If there was _any_ way I could get out of this whole thing, I would. I know you say it’s not a big deal but the idea of you sitting alone at home is killing me.”

“You feeling bad about it isn’t going to make it any better,” Alex insists with a sigh, feeling his heart clench and rolling over onto his stomach to prop his chin on John’s pillow. He already feels bad enough that he’s not there with John, he doesn’t need the guilt of knowing he’s ruining his Christmas as well. “Just get home as soon as you can and make it up to me, alright?”

John huffs. “Did you have something specific in mind that would show you just how sorry I am?”

Alex shrugs and answers honestly. “Nothing too fancy. Just want you here with me. A night in, just the two of us.”

“I really wish you’d let me spoil you more than that!”

Alex rolls his eyes. He should have known John wouldn’t let him get away with something so simple. “Bring a bottle of champagne back with you then.”

“Swiss champagne? It’s awful. I’ll see if I can find some of the proper stuff.” John laughs to himself. “I just feel like you deserve more than that, is all.”

Alex breathes a soft laugh, but he smiles at the adoration in John’s voice. “Yeah? And what would you do if I gave you free rein? Just how ridiculous would you be?”

“Well, see, that’s a trick question because I know you, and I know how much you’d hate it. But,” he pauses for a moment, “If we were to imagine a hypothetical parallel Alexander who doesn’t have all these weird hangups… Well, for starters I’d fly you out somewhere nice. Let’s stick with Paris.”

“And what exactly would you do with parallel Alexander in Paris?” Alex asks with a smirk, allowing himself to close his eyes and imagine the fantasy, the smell of John still wrapped comfortingly around him as he stretches out on their bed.

“Well, of course we’d avoid all the touristy spots. Mona Lisa? Eh, it’s nothing special. But there are lots of private collections where, if you know the right people, you can get in and see some interesting stuff.”

“And I take it you know the right people?” Alex prompts, laughing. 

“Or at least the people who know the people,” John laughs in return. “And then - see, the thing with Paris is, it’s not the most expensive places that are the best. I’d take you - ah, _him_ \- on a stroll through Montmartre, then to this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant for veal and wine, and then, I guess, back to the little attic apartment we’ve rented overlooking the Seine.”

“Sounds peaceful,” Alex says wistfully, smiling as he tries his best to picture it. “And I _did_ agree to go to Paris with you. Maybe as long as you wouldn’t insist on going to the ridiculously expensive tourist traps…”

“Living like a bohemian is practically mandatory. You just don't skimp on bread or cheese. The rest is fair game.”

“Just don’t tell me how much money you drop on everything. For both our sakes.”

John laughs. “Bread is a few euro, promise. The only thing I would insist on is taking you shopping - just the once, but I think you’d need something nice to remind you of the trip.”

“Just hide all the price tags. What I don’t know can’t hurt me I guess.”

“Oh, we wouldn’t go somewhere that had price tags!”

Alex huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes. “Of course.”

“So, it sounds like I’m selling you on the idea…”

He shrugs again, feeling his resolve soften at how into it all John sounds. He’s actually starting to feel a little excited himself at the prospect of a nice week away, just the two of them. “As long as I’m with you, it wouldn’t be _too_ bad. And I’ve always kind of wanted to see Paris. Even if it _is_ a cliche.”

“Maybe classic is a better word.” John pauses. “I miss you.”

“You said,” Alex jokes, throwing his own words back at him. “I miss you too though. A lot.”

“Shit. Wish you were here, just so I could hold you.” He sighs. “And maybe feed you chocolate.”

Alex presses his face to the pillow, wishing he could actually feel John’s arms around him– warm, comforting, strong. _Goddammit._ He squeezes his eyes shut tighter for a moment before speaking again.“Yeah. That _would_ be nice. Bring some chocolates home for me then if Swiss champagne sucks so much. I’ll accept that as my apology slash ‘I miss you’ gift.”

“You say that like you don’t already know half my suitcase is full of the stuff!” John laughs. “I’m not bringing cheese though. That’s a packing disaster just waiting to happen.”

“Wait– can you even bring European cheese through customs? Isn’t that like… a whole thing?”

“Oh, uh, no idea? No one’s ever checked my bag or anything.”

“I’ll repeat–” Alex teases with a light laugh. “Do you even realize how spoiled you sound? Doesn’t matter though. As long as you bring chocolates I don’t care.”

“Got it.” John pauses for a long moment, then sighs again. “I was thinking earlier, and you know what’s making this even more of a bummer?”

 _Everything._ “What?”

“Well, the last time I was here… We’d spend all day in classes or hanging out or going to parties, which was great, but then I’d get back home and just feel really - I don’t know - lonely, I guess. And now it kinda feels like the same thing, except worse somehow because I know you’re there, but just a little too far away. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, pressing his cheek against the pillow and taking a deep breath. He gets it. This _is_ worse somehow. He’d never had a problem being alone until John came into his life and now two weeks by himself feels endless. He feels ridiculously pathetic, not being able to handle two weeks by himself. Had he really become that codependent? “You’ll be back soon though,” he says, aiming to reassure himself as much as John. “And I’m just a phone call away. And you can text me throughout all the dumb wedding party prep stuff. You’ll be so busy it’ll be over before you know it, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. But I’m not going to wake you up at 3am just to shit-talk some endless conversation about the precise off-white shade of napkins.”

Alex huffs a short laugh. “You never know, I might be up anyway. Like I told you, I have a _lot_ of dumb projects to finish up.” He doesn’t bother adding how it’s been harder to sleep without John in the bed next to him. “Besides– that sounds like a _thrilling_ conversation.”

“Yeah, just the sort of thing I should abandon the love of my life over.”

He sighs, hating how miserable John sounds. “You’re being a good friend,” he insists. “And it’s _just_ two weeks. It’s not like I wasn’t invited. You’re not _abandoning_ me, John.”

“Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn’t Christmas. Also,” and a slightly scolding tone enters John’s voice, “You should be sleeping.”

“Nah, I’ve got to stay up and talk to this cute guy I like,” Alex says with a smug grin. 

“Oh yeah?” John says with a laugh, “He must be something special to be keeping you up.”

“He really is,” Alex tells him, unable to hide the genuine affection in his voice. “Even if he won’t bring me back _good_ champagne from his travels.”

“Yeah, dump him, and go out with me instead.”

“Only if you bring those chocolates and champagne as a bribe, Laurens.” He laughs, taking a deep breath to inhale his scent again, glad to at least have that reminder. He can’t imagine how much worse it must be staying in a cold, lonely hotel room. His heart aches to wrap John in his arms and hold tight. 

“Hang on, who am I bribing in this scenario - you or me?” He laughs, and the sound does nothing to quell Alex’s longing, though it does snap him out of his own thoughts. 

“ _Me_. You have to bribe me to break up with you so that I’ll go out with you. Obviously. How is this confusing?”

“Ah, got it. I should have known, that was all it took in the first place after all- well, that and an hour in a dark elevator.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not repeat the getting-trapped-in-an-elevator part. Definitely wouldn’t mind cozying up with you in a dark space though. Just you, me, champagne, chocolates, and a night without any interruptions. December 30th. It’s a date.”

“Well, it is in _my_ calendar,” John teases. “Sounds cozy. My only worry is that you’ll be so tired from working yourself into the ground that the no-interruptions part will be quite literal.”

“Shit. I’m gonna forget to put the date in when we hang up, I know it. Keep reminding me. It’ll stick eventually. Or actually– text me after you hang up. As for the other part of that, I think you forget that I am _highly_ practiced at pulling all-nighters. Just give me some coffee, I’ll be fine.”

John laughs. “Somehow I don’t think coffee will be the right choice for the all-night activities I had in mind.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex asks, dropping his voice a little lower. “And what exactly _do_ you have in mind?”

“Oh, you know,” John tells him with a mock-casual tone, “Just slowly taking you apart for a few hours before I put you back together.”

“Fuck,” Alex groans. “I miss you. And I definitely miss _that_. Forget what I said about you being a good friend. Screw them and hop on the next flight back to New York.”

“Better idea - you actually take a few days off and get on the 9pm SwissAir, which will get you here by, oh, dinner tomorrow?”

Alex rolls onto his back with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling again as he considers it with more serious intent than he had allowed earlier. He wants to so badly. And he can probably bring some of his work with him. After all, he does so much of it after hours in his apartment anyway. “I bet last-minute flights are way too expensive,” he says instead. 

John sits up. “I don’t care what it costs.”

“I know _you_ don’t care. I do. I’d be the one buying a ticket,” he mutters, focusing on that small spot on the ceiling again.

“Don’t be ridiculous! I already offered.”

Alex swallows, feeling premature excitement bubble in his chest even as he comes up with more excuses not to go. “It’d be a dick move to just up and leave without giving work at least a few days notice,” he says instead, clinging to the hope that John will have some way to make this less of an issue as well.

“It’s the middle of the holiday season. Surely your exposé on the top ten over-budget Christmas functions run by political offices can wait another week?”

“It can’t actually,” he argues, the sudden need to defend his ridiculous deadlines overriding his initial train of thought. “It needs to hit _before_ the holiday actually comes around or else readership won’t be… you know what.” He shakes his head to himself, realizing he’s started to go off on a tangent. “It really doesn’t matter. I can work in Geneva though… I have my laptop.”

“Or,” John says, a little pointedly, “You could _actually_ take a few days off. Sleep in, see the sights, come argue about napkins.”

Alex laughs– both at the little joke and because he’s pretty sure he’s actually going to do this. “I really can’t. But I _can_ do both. I’ll be tired as hell, but that’s nothing new. As long as I get everything in, it doesn’t matter where I’m working or what hours I’m logged in necessarily.”

“You working from here would be infinitely better. Are you seriously considering it?”

Alex bites his lip– he can’t really believe it himself but _yes_ he is– he’s more than considering it, he’s practically made up his mind. “I think it could work. I miss you, and I don’t want to wait two whole weeks to see you again.”

John lets out a shaky breath. “Wow. Okay. Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it from here. _Whatever_ you need.”

“Just book me that flight and send over the address for your hotel. I’ll start packing my bags.”

He can hear the unrestrained joy in John’s voice when he says, “Got it. I can’t believe you’re doing this.” He pauses, and when he speaks again his voice sounds a little unsteady. “Thank you.” 

Alex smiles and pushes himself up into a sitting position, a rush of excitement replacing the exhaustion from a long day. “I can’t believe it either.” 

As he starts tossing some clothes in a bag, he can hear John typing on the other end of the line, a few minutes of silence alight with excitement, and then– “Shit.” 

“What is it?” Alex stops with a shirt in his hands, halfway to his bag, and his brow creases with concern at the frustration in John's voice. 

“The flight sold out already. Just give me a second, I’ll see what else is available. There's got to be something.”

While John continues to look, Alex sobers from his initial rush of anticipation enough to realize– “Shit. John, I can’t.” 

A heavy pause on the other end of the line. “What do you mean y _ou can’t_?” 

He cringes with regret, the wave of realization like a cold shock of reality to his system. “Sorry, I completely forgot. I have a meeting set up for tomorrow morning, I– fuck. Sorry, I really can’t cancel. God, I’m so sorry, John. This is shit. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up.”

“Alex, it’s alright,” John insists, but he sounds so _sad_. 

“Fuck, I feel like such an ass. If the circumstances were different, I would cancel and come see you in a heartbeat, I promise. It’s just… my year end review is right after New Years, and canceling something this important would look really bad, and I know it’d come up and affect my chances at a promotion, or even just getting better opportunities–”

“ _Alex_ ,” John cuts him off. “Hey, calm down. I know you would come see me if you could. Just the fact that you were willing to– that you were _about_ to– it means a lot,” he says, and the firm, genuine way he says it makes Alex inclined to believe him. 

He drops the shirt he was holding down onto the floor and sits heavily at the edge of the bed, slouching forward. “Next year we’re going to be together for Christmas, alright?” he promises. “No matter what it takes, I’ll make sure of it.” He tries to put all of the fierce longing he’s feeling into his words, to ensure John knows just how seriously he means them. 

“It’s a date,” John says simply, the gratitude evident in his voice, and Alex knows– no matter what obstacles arise next year– he won’t let him down again. 


	3. Chapter 3

It’s Christmas Eve – a chilly night in the city, but unseasonably warm enough that Alex has dragged John outside – and the balcony of the bar they’re at is considerably more quiet than the party going on indoors. They’re practically alone. He smiles and glances up at the moon and the skyline and thanks the universe that the weather seems to be cooperating with his plans. He needs everything to be perfect. 

John puts his arm around Alex’s waist and tugs him in a little closer, and Alex makes a soft, contented noise against him. “You warm enough there?” John asks, eyes bright, reflecting the glow of the city.

“Yeah.” Alex can see his breath when he talks, but he’s too heated with nerves and anticipation to really feel the cold anyway. “I’m good. Perfect. And it’s nice to get some fresh air.”

John hums in agreement and looks out at the view. “I know I said I just wanted to stay home this evening, but I’m glad you talked me into coming out. It’s really nice here.”

Alex beams. He had done a decent amount of research on where to do this tonight, somewhere with a view and a liquor license to make sure they could enjoy a nice bottle of champagne after. A hotel room with a box of chocolates waiting on the bed – imported, just like the ones they had shared in the elevator – waiting a few floors below. “Glad you like it. I thought it’d be a nice treat for us, especially with the Empire State Building lit up for Christmas,” he says, tilting his head towards the red and green display.

“I must say this noisy city is growing on me.”

Alex brings a hand up to the back of his neck, tugging him in for a quick kiss. “Good. Because you’re stuck here with me. I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

John chuckles. “Except maybe to the convenience store? We’re out of wrapping paper. Remind me on the way home.”

“If you didn’t buy so many gifts for people…” Alex teases, wrapping his arms around John’s shoulders and pressing their foreheads together. 

John smiles and nudges his nose against Alex’s, then tucks his other hand in under Alex’s coat. “Someone’s got to be the thoughtful one in this relationship.”

Alex breathes a quiet laugh and brings one hand down to his pocket, running his thumb along the small gift box tucked inside. _If only he knew._ “Yeah, I guess so. Don’t worry about that now though, we’re supposed to be relaxing. Calm before the storm and all that jazz.”

John huffs. “Five hours is the car is going to be… not fun.”

Alex just shakes his head, grinning. Not even a long car ride and the prospect of spending a couple of days around all of the Laurenses can spoil his mood. “It’s your family, not mine.”

“Oh yeah, good point… The car ride’s going to be the pleasant bit.” John laughs self-deprecatingly. “You can still pull out, won’t hold it against you.”

Alex leans in and kisses John on the cheek. “Nah, someone’s got to keep you company.” He thinks back to the slightly uncomfortable phone conversation he had with Henry just a few days ago and knows that he couldn’t back out of the visit even if he wanted to at this point. The whole family will be expecting the happy news after all. _If_ John says yes. “It’ll be fine.”

“With you there, yeah it will. And at least Martha will have a new target for her cheesy Christmas engagement photos. She still won’t forgive me for missing it.”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, ducking his head so John can’t see when he almost laughs at the irony, his thumb still running over the smooth material of the gift wrapped box in his pocket. “I’ll survive all of her reminiscing, I’m sure.” He turns back to look out at the city again, taking a few steps towards the railing and leaning up against it. Takes the moment to brace himself for what he’s about to do. His whole body is a mess, jittery and tight with nerves, but in spite of that, it all feels _right_ somehow. Like he’s just so eager to spend the rest of his life with the man next to him that he can’t contain it all inside of him. He lets out some of his energy in a long, contented sigh, willing his heart to beat normally so he can get through this. “It really is a nice view,” he says quietly. 

John steps up behind him and nuzzles into his hair, wraps strong arms around his waist. “Uh huh,” he hums. “I’m certainly enjoying it.”

“Mmm,” Alex sighs, leaning back against John and closing his eyes for a moment. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” John murmurs. “More than all the light pollution in New York.”

Alex lets out a laugh, and even though he’s only had one drink since they got here, he feels almost drunk with the giddy feeling bubbling up inside of him. “That much, huh?”

“Oh yes.” John kisses behind his ear. “And I’m especially glad we can finally spend Christmas together.”

“Me too.” Alex smiles, turning around in John’s arms so they’re face to face, close enough that he can feel the warmth of his boyfriend’s breath against his skin. His fingers wrap around the parcel in his pocket, and he takes a deep breath before he can chicken out. “I know we’re doing presents tomorrow morning, but I got you something that you have to open tonight.” He pulls the box, wrapped in shiny gold paper and topped with a tiny bow, from his pocket, holding it out and unable to hide the way his smile stretches wide across his face in anticipation.

John laughs lightly, but he looks at the box with a touch of suspicion. “I told you you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Yeah, well,” Alex says, practically bouncing on his feet. “I knew you were going to get _me_ something, and it is the season of giving, after all. Just open it,” he insists, pressing the box into John’s hands. 

John laughs indulgently, but his smile is genuine and pleased. “Thank you,” he says, then carefully plucks off the bow and pulls at the corner of the tape to unstick it. When the gold paper pulls free, John looks curiously at the box, and lifts the lid. When he sees the smaller box inside, his eyes narrow. “Alex?”

Alex can feel his heart rate pick up again, but he just smiles and nods slightly. “Go on, open it.”

John’s hands look a little unsteady when he lifts out the smaller box and flips open the lid. He stares down at the contents, biting his lip. There, set into a silk covered cushion, is a shiny gold ring, a simple band, inlaid with a thin strip of crushed opal. He blinks a few times, as if he can’t quite believe it, as Alex drops to one knee. 

He takes John’s free hand in both of his own, sure he wouldn’t be able to wipe the smile from his face if he tried. “Sorry, I know we’ve said Christmas proposals are cheesy,” he says, a spark of amusement lighting his eyes. “Figured you wouldn’t be expecting it, at least.”

John squeezes his eyes shut but he lets out a rough, emotional laugh. “You bastard,” he says, then opens his eyes and looks down at Alex.

Alex swallows hard as he stares into John’s eyes. He’s practiced this speech, knows what he’s going to say inside and out, but still it’s hard to get the words out over the pounding of his own heart and the heat already pricking at the corners of his eyes. But he’s already kneeling in front of him– vulnerable and ready to lay his heart bare– and it’s now or never, so Alex takes a deep breath and begins to speak. 

“John, these past three years have easily been the best of my life. And I _know_ it’s cheesy and I just made a joke about it and all that, but really, Christmas is sort of the perfect time for this.” He feels a rush of affection at the breathless laugh John lets out at that, and feels his own smile widen as he continues. “It’s when I first met you in that elevator, and you charmed me into falling for you in the time it took them to get the power back on. It’s when I realized that I could withstand all of the complications that come with your family,” he says with a little self-deprecating laugh at the memory of their first Christmas together– how it had been an absolute trainwreck, but at the end of the day they came out of it stronger than ever. “And it’s when I realized, with you a whole ocean away, that I didn’t want to ever spend another holiday without you. When I realized that the idea of spending forever with someone could be exciting, not just terrifying. You do so much every day to prove over and over how absolutely wonderful you are, how lucky I am to have you,” he says, feeling the tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes, and even though he knows he could speak for days on end about all of the reasons he wants to marry the love of his life, he has to wrap this up soon before his voice gets too unsteady to be entirely coherent. “And I don’t ever want to lose that. John Laurens, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” 

He beams up at John, nervous excitement overwhelming him, and he knows based on his reaction – the way his face melts and a soft, gentle smile spreads over his lips – what John is going to say, but it still feels like an eternity before he finally gives a quick, eager nod and breathlessly responds.

“Yes. Of course.”

Alex chokes out a relieved sigh that turns into laugh halfway through. He pulls himself up to his feet, a little unsteady, and plucks the gold band from the box, sliding it onto John’s finger as he holds it out and marvelling at the fact that this is _real_. 

“God, I love you,” John whispers, then raises his hand to the side of Alex’s face and pulls him forward into a fierce, rough kiss. He squeezes his eyes shut again, overcome by emotion.

Alex pulls back – just barely – to whisper, “I love you too.” Then he grabs John by the sleeve and tugs him over to the corner of the balcony where mistletoe is hung from the edge of the roof, laughing all the while at his incredible luck that he managed to get to this point– here with John, asking him and to marry him and John saying _yes_ – and drags him into a deeper kiss. 

John kisses back, then pulls Alex close against him, pressing kisses against his temple and his hair. “God - Alex,” he murmurs. “You give me purpose like nothing on earth.”

Alex ducks his head, feeling his cheeks flush with how easily the genuine praise falls from John’s lips, and how John can say so infinitely much in just those few words. “There’s a bottle of champagne in there for us,” he tells him, motioning back inside towards the bar. “Would have been real embarrassing for me if you’d said no, since I already paid for it.”

John breathes a little laugh into his scalp, but keeps holding on tight. “Don’t care. There’s no way I can let you go right now.” A tear runs down one of his cheeks as he clings on tighter.

Alex smiles, catching it with his thumb and wiping it away. “You were actually surprised then?”

“Completely! I mean,” and John narrows his eyes a little, “There was that one weird moment two weeks ago when you randomly came home in the middle of the day and were acting kinda strange, but I figured… I don’t know.”

“Oh,” Alex says, just realizing that he should probably warn John about their impending visit and how… enthusiastic everyone is going to be. “Your family knows by the way. So, uh, expect that when we see them tomorrow. I made sure to do it the ‘proper’ way,” he says, adding air quotes and unable to help the sarcastic tone his voice takes on with the words. “Didn’t want to offend your Southern sensibilities or whatever.” John snorts a laugh. “So I called your dad first. And you _better_ appreciate it, because that was probably the most uncomfortable conversation of my life.”

John’s eyebrows shoot up. “Good lord, really? You’re a braver man than me, that’s for sure,” he says with a laugh. “I almost don’t want to know, but - what did dad say?”

Alex laughs even as he grimaces in discomfort at the memory. “Oh, just typical parent stuff I guess. I think _he_ was more uncomfortable than I was to be completely honest. At least I had the chance to prepare myself for the conversation,” he says with a slightly awkward laugh. “Sounded like he couldn’t wait to be done talking about it, but he was nice enough. He _does_ want you to be happy,” Alex emphasizes for John’s benefit. “Whatever complaints I have about him, I can’t deny that he cares about you.”

John smiles down fondly. “He’s coming around. But - thanks for doing that. If I had any doubts about how serious you were…” He presses another kiss to Alex’s forehead.

“Yeah, well, love makes people do crazy things.” Alex nuzzles his face against John’s neck, sighing happily. “We’ll have to take some pictures in a little bit so _you_ can bother _Martha_ with cheesy Christmas engagement pictures,” he says, only half serious. 

John snorts. “Never mind dad then - Martha’s going to murder you for stealing her thunder. But, you know what, actually?” John looks down with a broad smile. “I don’t know if I want to share this moment with anyone else.”

“Yeah? Fine with me,” Alex agrees, grinning like an idiot. He grabs John’s hand in his own, running his finger along the smooth band and watching it glint with the lights of the city reflecting against the inlay. 

John looks down at the gesture with a smile that’s still slightly confused and emotional, but then he schools his face into a frown. “There’s just one problem.”

Alex looks up at him, his brow furrowing. “You already said yes. No take backs.”

John can’t keep a straight face - he laughs. “It’s just that, well, you’ve completely upstaged my gift to you.”

Alex’s face breaks into a smile again as he laughs. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” he says, repeating John’s words from earlier with a bit of a teasing edge to them. 

“Yeah, yeah,” John rolls his eyes. “But you’re not the only one who’s been making secret phone calls.”

“Hmm, very mysterious,” Alex muses, leaning in to press another kiss to his cheek. 

John raises an eyebrow teasingly. “You wanna wait till tomorrow? Or can I tell you now?”

“Oh, you have to tell me now,” Alex tells him, still feeling ridiculously light and giddy. “It’s only fair, after all.”

“Mmm, true.” John wraps his arm around tight so that he can whisper in Alex’s ear. “As of the thirtieth, you have ten days off. No articles, no assignments. Funny thing is, when I called your boss, he practically _thanked_ me for making you take a break.” John kisses next to Alex’s ear. “You wanna guess why you’re going to need some time off?”

“Well, you must have _something_ planned for us, because if you don’t I’m going to drive you crazy for ten straight days with nothing to do,” Alex tells him, the corner of his lips pulled up in amusement. 

John huffs. “World’s shortest engagement? No thanks.” He hums to himself as Alex breaks into a laugh. “You know, it’s even more romantic now that I can say I’m taking my fiancé on holiday to Paris.”

Alex presses a kiss to his lips, smiling even as they’re pressed together. “You _would_ outspend me on gifts even when I got you a damn engagement ring,” he mutters against him, laughing. “Can’t wait though.”

John grins. “I mean, if you’d rather just go to Albany…?”

“Dear god, no. We’re going to Paris and eating expensive cheese and pastries. That’s final.”

“Deal.” John looks out over the city again. His voice drops to a more intimate hum. “You think we can take that champagne to go?”

Alex grins. “I actually booked us a room at the hotel for the night,” he admits, squeezing John’s hand. “So they can send it down to us. I know it’s not far back to our place, but I figured it’d be nice to have a proper night away to celebrate.”

“You really _are_ brilliant, Mr. Hamilton,” John says with a teasing smile.

“So I’ve been told,” Alex says with a laugh and a smug grin. “Had to make the night special for my handsome fiancé after all,” he tells John, smiling at the sound of the word on his tongue.

“It really _is_ a good thing I said yes, huh? Otherwise you’d be spending one hell of a sad night alone in a hotel room.”

“Who says I’d be alone– you know what, never mind. Shouldn’t go there. I’m going to stop talking before you really do take back your ‘yes’.” He presses another kiss to John’s lips to shut himself up.

John kisses him back, more insistently this time, and his hand snakes inside Alex’s coat to rest on his waist. When he pulls back, he murmurs, “Let’s get out of here.”

Alex hums a low, pleased note, at the feeling of John’s hand against him. “Got the keycard downloaded to my phone already.”

“So practical,” John laughs, then slides his arm further around and starts to lead Alex back inside. The warm air rushes over them as they step into the hotel bar, a stark contrast to the chill from outside.

“I love you so much,” Alex says, sighing happily as they make their way across the bar to the elevator. 

“Love you more,” John says, stepping close as they get inside the elevator, not wanting to allow any space between them. Then he looks around and laughs. “Wouldn’t it be funny if the elevator broke down?”

“Oh god, don’t jinx it,” Alex says, laughing as he leans snug against John’s side. “I paid good money for this hotel room, I want to _use it_.”

“That sounds like a challenge to get your money’s worth… Who needs to sleep, after all?”

“Smart _and_ hot. Knew I chose the right man to tie the knot with,” Alex teases, pressing a kiss to John’s cheek. 

“Don’t forget strong,” John laughs, then leans down for a second and slides his arm behind Alex’s knees, then puts the other behind his back and hoists him up into his arms.

“Hey!” Alex breathes a surprised laugh and tucks himself in closer against John’s chest. “Mmm, and charming,” he adds as he recovers from the shock of being scooped up so easily.

“Who said I can’t be cheesy and romantic too, huh?” The elevator reaches their floor and the door opens. John steps out, then looks around. “Uh, which way?”

“Uh, I don’t remember the room number. It’s on my phone. You’ve got to let me down so I can get to it.”

“Fine,” John says, lowering Alex’s legs to the ground so he can stand. “You were getting heavy anyway.”

Alex pretends to be affronted as he digs his phone out of his pocket. “Maybe you shouldn’t bring me to Paris where you’ve promised that we can gorge ourselves on bread and cheese then.” 

“Or maybe it’s just that you’ve made me weak at the knees.”

“Good save.” Alex pulls up the app on his phone and checks the number. “This way,” he says, motioning down the hall and grabbing John’s hand, twining their fingers together, to tug him along. “Hurry up, we’ve got to get started if we want to get our money’s worth,” he says with a sly smile, raising an eyebrow. 

John follows behind eagerly. When they get to the door and Alex is figuring out how to swipe it open, he slips his hands to the collar of Alex’s coat and starts to pull it up and off his shoulders. “Gotta be efficient,” he murmurs.

A smile tugs at Alex’s lips again as he tries and fails to open the door. “If I don’t get this damn thing to open in the next couple of minutes, I’m just about ready to suck you off right here in the hall.”

John breathes a hot laugh against the back of his neck. “Yeah, and I just might let you. Give me that,” he says, motioning to the phone.

Alex shoves the phone into his hands, too eager to get inside to try it himself another time. 

John looks at the screen and taps one of the icons. “Here, you have to set it to activate like this, and…” He taps the phone against the lock and it clicks open.

“Finally,” Alex groans impatiently, grabbing for the door handle and pulling it wide. “After you, my love,” he says with a smile, already buzzing with anticipation and stealing one more glance at the ring on John’s finger.

John grins, looks up into the room, then turns back to Alex and grabs him at the waist, hoisting him up and over his shoulder. “Together,” he says and steps inside.

Alex yelps in surprise, but laughs and returns John grin as he’s carried inside. “Always.”


End file.
